I'm Lost, I Need Change

**A poem by Maria Thalmann extracted from www.poemhunter.com

It's something I read at random that accidentally hit me hard. So I decided to share the words that expressed the thoughts I failed to speak..

I'm lost in a darkness as dark as the night
but lighter then the stars above 
I'm lost in a memory that once were
but now is gone far away
I'm lost in the sadness after the dark
but live my life with laughter
I'm lost in this world, so beautiful it is
but it takes my life from me
I'm lost in myself and so confused
that my heart is broken in two
It's dark, it's light
it's noon, it's night
everything is changing but me
I'm lost in a life so still and slow
that my heart stops beating soon
I'm lost in a town where my heart isn't placed
and without my heart I can't live
I need my life back, 
I need to change, 
I need to get out of here
I'm lost in this place where i don't belong
And if I stay my breathing will stop
Therefore I go 
out into the world
to a place greater then here
There I am lost in a big new world
But my heart will be with me again
....

Stress can literally break your heart!!

People in many legends and fictional tales die after suffering a devastating loss. But even in reality people die from a broken heart!

‘Heartbreak’ usually doesn’t mean a physical defect in the heart. But there is a condition known as ‘Broken Heart Syndrome’ or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, where a traumatizing event results in the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue. As a result, the bottom of the heart starts bulging out into the shape of a pot.  A broken heart hurts in the same way as pangs of intense physical pain. A sudden emotional stress because of the death of a loved one or a traumatic breakup can accentuate the condition.

But it is substantially different from a heart-attack. People suffering from Broken Heart Syndrome usually recover within two weeks, which is a lot faster compared to people suffering from heart attacks.

Article from: didyouknowarchive.com

Started another one..

Unable to really say anything personal in this blog so I started another one. Being stuck with my 2013 plans dwindling and inspired by watching a ton of TV shows that had the main character able to effectively explain themselves without hiding behind poems, short stories and random soliloquy as I have, I poured my thoughts out.

I've been writing in a journal but the space just isn't enough and its making me even more confused, about a lot of things. So in an effort to sort things out, I typed my way out of my frustration. I feel a little better but there are so many things running through my head that the words are just spilling out of control.

Now the only reason I'm noting it here is because I've deleted so many personal blogs that all ended up in the trash bin of cyberspace and I need a motivation, a reminder if you will.. That it helps to put thoughts into words. It helps in putting things into perspective as uttered words make it real and that acceptance is just a distant weary road ahead. Maybe, just maybe.. Clearing my head this way would help with finding the way out of this rut I'm in..

This Love Will Be Your Downfall

I started listening to Ellie Goulding again.. This hits where it hurts.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Who are we to be emotional?
Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?
Oh, who are we to turn each other's heads?
Who are we to find ourselves in other people's beds?

Oh, I don't like the way I never listen to myself
I feel like I'm on fire, I'm too shy to cry for help
Oh, I don't think you know me much at all

This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall

I'm feeling down about this love

Who are you to make me feel so good?
Who are we to tell ourselves that we're misunderstood?
Oh, who am I to say I'm always yours?
Who am I to choose the boy that everyone adores?
Oh, I don't see a reason why we can't just be apart
We're falling on each other like we're always in the dark
Oh, I don't think you know me much at all, at all

This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
(At all)

This love is not what you want
This heart will never be yours
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall